I never marched in a parade.
I never climbed a mountain.
I never published a book.
I never invented anything.
I never took in foster kids.
I never surfed in the ocean or ran a race.
I never had intelligent conversations with people of great influence.
I never sailed a ship or galloped on a horse, or swam with the dolphins.
I never was a famous talk show host or took dancing lessons.
I never traveled the world.
I never had a ton of money nor clinked glasses with the wealthy.
I never laid my life down for a cause.
I never had any influence whatsoever in a political arena.
I never and I never and I never…
Sometimes the Nevers whisper to me and bat about my head, and when I entertain them and give them a place to sit at my table, and when I listen and agree with them, I somehow feel I lived a life of very little importance. A life just not worth talking about. And when I’m stuck dining with the Nevers, it appears that everyone else is eating with the Haves. And then I feel bad and slouch in my seat.
But when I say, “Shut up, you taunting and useless Nevers,” and turn my gaze and welcome in the Haves; I rise up.
I have birthed and raised two children who have become lovely vibrant adults.
I have sat in the company of the hurting and brought comfort to the broken.
I have learned to type.
I have encouraged those who have misplaced their steps.
I have followed a career path that gave me more joy than I could contain.
I have learned to write.
I have learned to communicate with eloquence.
I have overcome a debilitating mental illness and addictions and have lived in twenty years of a sober and sound mind.
I have stopped lying and speak the truth.
I have learned to turn off the TV and read a book.
I have learned social media is only a bunch of people giving sometimes flabby opinions and has nothing to do with what I hold true.
I have painstakingly learned God loves me, and for all eternity, that will never change. Not a bit.
I have, in place of apathy, learned to be kind.
I have, in place of divisive competition, learned to help others on similar journeys find their way.
I have, and I have, and I have…
And then miraculously when my Haves wash over me, ushered in are the I AM’S.
I am courageous.
I am intelligent.
I am a champion for the ignored.
I am cherished.
I am all-inclusive.
I am funny and can make people laugh.
I am a gift.
I am empowered to carry the kindness of God.
And from The Great I Am,
I am gifted to relish in my story,
Of all the Nevers,
And all the Haves,
And the whole of who I AM.