“Lady, I Don’t Know if You Are Telling the Truth and I Should Give You a Ticket But That’s the Best…”

by Jan on October 20, 2009

As my daughter recently celebrated her 28th birthday, I was recalling the day of her 11th birthday and the ‘This is my how I got out of a speeding ticket story’.

I had been on the road performing in several states for a month or so leaving my two daughters behind with a nanny. The ‘guilty mom complex’ was incessantly nibbling at my gray matter and  trying to invade my already weighty heart.

I was home for one day and fortunately right on my eldest daughter’s birthday! Just coming in from the East Coast, I was to leave the next day for LA. I just had enough time to pick up a cake and make it to my daughter’s classroom for a little birthday celebration.

Somewhere between the bakery and the classroom I realized I did not have my suitcase which had all the equipment I needed for the stage presentation. This was not something that could be easily replaced and there was no way I could perform without it. I began to hyperventilate with gusto and because I was ‘PMS-ing’, I broke out into the chorus from Oklahoma. This did not help.

Leaving the school with a half eaten cake on the seat next to me and with a pulse of 250 I tore up the road careening the hi-ways and bi-ways in efforts to  retrace my steps to find my suitcase. Picture then,  the lights, siren and a really cute cop I must say…

It was all I could handle and as the officer asked for my licence and registration,  I burst out crying (verbatim), “I’m an actress and I have to be on stage in LA tomorrow and I lost my suitcase and it has this thing I need cause I don’t have the whole show memorized and it’s my daughters birthday and I just made it in time…here’s the cake and  I’m only home for one day and they have to have a nanny and…”

The really cute cop says, “Lady, I Don’t Know if You Are Telling the Truth and I Should Give You a Ticket But That’s the Best Story I Have Ever Heard and I’m Gonna Let You Go” I Hope You Find What You Are Looking For…”

Gratitude replaced my madness and at the same time I was trying to figure out how to give him my phone number or get his!

I did find my suitcase as someone had found it in the middle of the road. I guess I had forgotten to put it in the trunk, left it behind the car, backed up and pushed it into the road. A very nice man got an unexpected tip that day and I with much relief enjoyed the rest of the evening with my daughters assuaging the ‘mommy guilt’ for one more day.

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