Losing Friends

by Jan on May 3, 2023

They come, and they go in and out of the seasons of our days. And then there are those who stay no matter what. 707 girls you know who you are. I’ve been fortunate to have many acquaintances and friends throughout my life’s journey. They have witnessed me stupid, brilliant, and dull and funny, but lately, a deepening sadness is becoming an unwelcome companion. As I step further into the timeline of my life, dear friends are dying, and I am burdened with the most profound grief that is sometimes too heavy to discard.

After a loss, I wonder if they knew how I felt about them. Did they know how important they were to me? Did I listen to them enough? Did they know I loved them? “I love yous” do not come easily for me to say. (There are reasons for that which I have written about and is soon to be published.) I tell myself to let my living friends know of the impact they have had in my life, but that intent gets diffused into my daily ‘must-dos, aching joints, and fuzzy brain. But mostly, I just forget, and then they are gone, and I pay the price of a deeper sadness.

I am reminded now, today, to cherish the ones I love and even the ones I don’t because when all is said and done, I will have lived fully and given a blessing to the soul of another. No longer will I so quickly open that door to let in those unwelcomed regrets. And while sadness may linger, I just might have a greater chance of letting my soul rest my friends who’ve passed and dwell in the deepest gratitude for who they were in my life.

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