That’s What She Said

by Jan on November 30, 2023

What do you do when you hear someone’s opinions about other people that feel maligning and malicious? It is kinda what we do sometimes when we feel insecure about ourselves and want to be accepted. And while the gossiper may feel a moment of power by tearing others down in their quest to feel better about themselves, the consequences of those spoken words can be devastating.

“The most dangerous part about gossip is that it steals another person’s reputation. A reputation is very fragile. When you gossip, you are helping to destroy something extremely valuable.” (#teamtraining)

When I’ve been party to hearing negative slander about someone else’s character, I can’t help but see that person differently. By allowing myself to listen to the gossip, I have participated in their character assassinations and my perceptions about them are altered. And while the gossiper is feeling a sense of power, my heart begins to feel toxic, and my view of the world becomes a bit murky.

What to do:

Make a commitment to stop listening to gossip and to restrain yourself as well.

Say “I’m not comfortable with talking about someone who is not present to defend themselves.”

Look for ways to bring the conversation back to focus that is not belittling to others.

Say good things about the person being criticized.

Know that the people gossiping about others to you… are gossiping about you to others.

Listen to your thoughts before you speak them.

Here’s the thing, the deep work in the hearts of those insecure gossipers needs to be done. They need to know they are truly valuable human beings and in the eyes of God have a purpose to spread love and kindness from the wellspring of their own soul. Just imagine what would happen in our society as a whole if one by one we changed the way we talk about others. 

We might just all get along.

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