To Budge or Not to Budge

by Jan on August 18, 2009

One midlife malady that seems to be fairly shared among couples is stubbornness; being set in our ways; no more Mr./Ms. Nice Guy/Gal; I need, I want, I feel, I need some more, etc.

The kids are out of the house and now it’s “ME TIME”. So, if you have two people sharing their lives together exercising their self-indulgent newly found freedom, what happens when the wills clash?

To budge or not to budge? Sometimes it can go beyond the tug of rope named “Compromising” to the silent but deadly “Standoff”. The problem with the Standoff is it gets extremely tiring and it is impossible to win.

Why is it sometimes so difficult when you are set on something you want, to step back and take a different perspective…perhaps your partners? But oh my, what a thought. That might mean you have to crumble and loose!

Actually it means emotional maturity. Quieting down the kid within that continues to scream for love and attention and persists on winning the fight taunting, “I know you are but what am I?”

I think we forget who we are, where we are and from where we have journeyed. I know I need to remember to start out the day putting on my big girl pants. I need to remember I’m safe now and the disappointments and wounds of the past don’t have power anymore unless I let them.

I sure hope I’m not the only one that works myself into this budgeless state of being and if I am alone in this, well, all I have to say is…. I know you are but what am I?

Oh phooey, there I go again…

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