And now, my husbands viewpoint on the mysteries of menopause…(brace yourself).<\/p>\n
One beautiful\u00a0Saturday morning\u00a0about 10 years ago I\u00a0am reading the paper and sipping on a Starbucks soaking in the\u00a0stillness\u00a0and solitude of our home,\u00a0when I hear\u00a0her footsteps\u00a0descending the stairs.\u00a0Jan\u00a0rounds the corner and\u00a0I notice that she looks like she just plowed 40 acres of land last night with a broken down mule.\u00a0Being the observant male that I\u00a0am with all the sensitivity that I could muster,\u00a0I said,\u00a0” What’s\u00a0wrong honey, you look horrible.” She\u00a0looked at me\u00a0with a hollowed out expression and said\u00a0”\u00a0I don’t feel like me anymore. I don’t understand what is happening to my mind and body with this menopause stuff.” I woke up feeling depressed and dreading the day.”
\n<\/p>\n
So understanding that I should say something that will bring comfort and caring, I said. “Gee honey, there seems to be something wrong with you everyday.” As she cocked her head to the side and squinted with one eye half shut, looking like the Hunchback of Norte Dame, she coldly stated, \u201cOh gee, thanks for your overwhelming understanding, and further more you don’t have the slightest clue about what I’m going through! If only you could feel for one day what I feel!!\u201d\u00a0 So my solution was to get out and go play golf.<\/p>\n
As the days wore on and the nights became colder we both sensed a profound disconnect in our relationship. As Jan\u2019s mood and symptoms escalated from her hormone imbalance, I too was becoming moody and depressed\u00a0and just didn’t want to be around her. I would fantasize about taking off for a long motorcycle trip.<\/p>\n
We both knew that\u00a0changes were going on\u00a0but we didn’t know how to get back to where we were before all this menopause stuff hit. The primary thought that I felt during this time\u00a0was, that it was all about me. I’m in adequate, unlovable, whatever…<\/p>\n
What I have learned through this DVD menopause project, is that Jan didn’t have any more control over her menopause symptoms, than I have over the course of world affairs. When I finally recognized that this isn’t about me and I began to show her a little empathy and compassion, she was able to give me the same in return.<\/p>\n
For me, the menopause\u00a0experience has been a journey of self-discovery about who I am as\u00a0man and husband. The\u00a0realization that\u00a0menopause is treatable and it is not all about me, has taken our relationship to a much deeper level,\u00a0even before menopause.<\/p>\n
Look men, we have a choice, we can shrivel up into our self centered\u00a0little world and try and pretend that this problem is not real, have a beer or\u00a0play\u00a0golf, tune out\u00a0etc.,\u00a0or we can take matters into our own hands\u00a0and\u00a0try and fix this situation, like you would a leaky faucet.\u00a0Any of these remedies will most likely lead to disaster.<\/p>\n
Listening, empathy and compassion will go a long way no matter what life challenges come your way. So ask yourself, \u201cWhat if this was cancer or another dread disease, would she not deserve the same dignity, love and respect?\u201d<\/p>\n
So the solution? Show a ” Whole lotta Love”!<\/p>\n
Rock on!!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
And now, my husbands viewpoint on the mysteries of menopause…(brace yourself). One beautiful\u00a0Saturday morning\u00a0about 10 years ago I\u00a0am reading the paper and sipping on a Starbucks soaking in the\u00a0stillness\u00a0and solitude of our home,\u00a0when I hear\u00a0her footsteps\u00a0descending the stairs.\u00a0Jan\u00a0rounds the corner and\u00a0I notice that she looks like she just plowed 40 acres of land last night […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_s2mail":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-211","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-menopause"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/janbrehm.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/211"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/janbrehm.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/janbrehm.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/janbrehm.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/janbrehm.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=211"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/janbrehm.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/211\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":216,"href":"https:\/\/janbrehm.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/211\/revisions\/216"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/janbrehm.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=211"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/janbrehm.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=211"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/janbrehm.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=211"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}